Thursday, June 15, 2006

It Hit Me

So I was sitting around thinking about aardvarks, and it hit me: I am running out of gum! I was terrified. I don't want to be caught with a paucity of gum! No, the gum-lessness that was staring at me with its bitty evil eyes and I was feeling the heat. But then it hit me: I'm a doctor, I can buy a WHOLE LOT OF GUM if I want. Well, my pulse started to slow, my sweaty palms started to dry. Whew! THAT was a close one. But then it hit me: Why in the WORLD was I thinking about aardvarks? I have never met an aardvark. I have no interest in them, aside from the fact that they appear so early in the dictionary. And how in the WORLD did they con somebody into putting that second "A" at the start of their name?? But then it hit me: I am being hit a lot by something. What keeps hitting me? I looked around the room...nobody was there. The fish in their tank were bumping...whoa, I saw that! Then there was this weird sound coming from under the sofa. It sounded like some bees trying to get out of a Styrofoam box which was coated with crunchy peanut butter and half-frozen cucumber chunks. The sound started quietly, but then got louder. Then it hit me (stop that!): somebody took my cucumbers! Who in the WORLD would steal them, put them in the freezer (for a short time), put some bees in a Styrofoam box, coat it with crunchy peanut butter and stick the cucumbers on it?? Then it hit me (I'm getting really sick of this): I had just finished a project involving all of these items, although I thought the peanut butter was smooth. I had misplaced it and had not been able to find it. Then it hit me (one more time and I will hit back): I'M A DOCTOR, so I can afford to buy some more bees, Styrofoam, PB, and cukes. Then it hit me (I swing in the air): I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON GUM!!!! I frantically looked under the couch and something was staring at me with its bitty evil was an aardvark! Whoa!!! It was the Aardvark that took my box with bees, etc.!!! Then it hit me.

Then I woke up...with a BAD headache.