Wednesday, July 05, 2006

More Drunk Animals

Tahoe bear swills beer with pizza snack

1 hour, 23 minutes ago

A bear cub drew a crowd of spectators at a Lake Tahoe neighborhood as it munched on barbecue-chicken-and-jalapeno pizza in the back seat of a vintage red Buick convertible.

It also apparently washed it down with a swig of a Jack Daniel's mixer, an Absolut vodka and tonic, and a beer taken from a cooler, the vehicle's owner said.

About 30 people watched the cub lumber around a parking lot in upper Kingbury
Grade on Sunday before it homed in on the Buick and the spicy pizza on the floor.

The bruin was unfazed by the car's horn the blew nonstop as the cub pressed the seat into the steering wheel.

"The bear was loping along in the parking lot and then decides to get inside the car," said resident Jerry Patterson.

"People were screaming at him, the horn was going off,
but he was completely unaware. He did what he wanted to do and the people didn't matter."

Go here to read more.

What can I say? We have an EPIDEMIC of drunk animals. First it is the notorious monkey, then it is the Pelicans, now we have Yogi doing Jack Daniels??? What has gone wrong with the world? Are we corrupting these poor innocent animals (as our PETA friends would propose), or are they manipulating us to feed their terrible habits?

I have a dog and a cat at home, and now I am going to put a lock on our refrigerator so that I won't wake up to a pickled pooch. I was wondering why I was going through the beer so quickly. It kills me. Now I can't assume their silly actions are just "those zany things our pet friends do." They may just be toasted!!! Oh, the innocence lost!

Now I look at that picture of Yogi and BooBoo at the top of this article in a whole new light. They are not carefree and playful, they are working on cirrhosis! So what do we have left - birds, monkeys, fish (C'mon, ever heard the expression "drinks like a fish?"), large mammals. I guess single celled organisms, such as amoebae, and bacteria are still safe - no wait, aren't they fermenters - they are the dealers! Even blue green algae are in on it!

Oh well, I am off to buy a pet earthworm.....Oh yes, and don't forget about our friends, the Parasite Pals!