Monday, August 21, 2006

Another kid driver


Yet another child driver...in a Mercedes!

Police investigating a complaint about a van disrupting morning traffic on Monday in the German city of Goettingen were surprised to discover a 5-year-old boy behind the wheel.

"He was seemingly intent on experiencing the daily traffic chaos and simply jumped behind the wheel of his dad's Mercedes Vito and went off to explore," police spokesman said.

During his short journey, the toddler stalled the van several times in the middle of the road and a passer-by alerted police. The boy and the vehicle were returned to his father unharmed.

How do these kids step on the gas and drive? Last I checked 5-year olds were small. How can this happen?? My guess is that there is someone in on the plot with them. Maybe it is a monkey.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Gov't reveals that life itself is eventually fatal

The following is a post I wrote for The Medical Blog Network. If you are interested in things medical, I suggest you visit that site.

Yes, in a government report, people with porphyria who go to bed too late after drinking fluoridated water are going to die. Yes, that is right. All of them.

If I wasn't a doctor, I would think that the most dangerous thing we can do is to be alive. We hear scare stories about just about everything and it makes me very frustrated. Too much sun is dangerous, but not enough will give you rickets. Being married makes you live longer, but marriage is a huge source of stress. Drink water, eat meat, eat vegetables sprayed with dangerous chemicals, drink milk with hormones. All of these will make you die. You will die, yes you will.

So what are we to do with all of this information? It certainly is a danger in the Blogosphere, that any report gets posted as if it is the definitive authority on the subject. People get confused when they hear on the evening news how great Statin drugs are, but then hear that they can "kill your liver." I know that the blogosphere will police itself, but in its wake will be a bunch of confusion.

So here is my advice: don't believe it because it is written somewhere. Don't believe it if a TV anchorman says it. Don't even believe it if you hear it from your doctor. Things like this will either gain evidence or fade in the background. Remember when eggs were dangerous because of all their cholesterol? Now we have learned that the danger is not from eating cholesterol, but saturated fats. Just wait. Don't jump on any bandwagon too soon. To be reliable, something has to have multiple sources saying the same thing. There must be independent studies showing that something is true. Even then, it can turn out to be wrong (as was the case with post-menopausal hormones). Just don't get to riled up about things. Keep cool, and if it goes against the grain, be very careful. Honest, we doctors ARE NOT part of some grand fluoride, Zyprexa, porphyria conspiracy. Nobody is pressuring me to say the things I do. I really think and decide just like the rest of you EVEN THOUGH I AM PART OF THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY.

Just remember, we all die someday. I don't advocate speeding the process up, but I also think that life is too short to spend it worried that you are somehow unknowingly causing great harm to yourself by doing normal things. If that is the case, then we all go down together. Chances are, though, that there is a reason the fringe people are on the fringe.

Of course, if you REALLY want to know what is true, you can always buy Soapware!

The Soapware reference is an inside joke from the TMBN blog. Some Soapware enthusiasts sent a ton of comments to the blog about their medical software. It kind of got obnoxious.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Openness of Patients

It happened again yesterday.

"Gosh doc, you've put on a bunch of weight."

There is no other job where people feel free to say that kind of thing. I have learned to take it in stride, even when my stride is more and more brought down by the cruel force of gravity. Why do people feel they can openly comment on my weight? I think there are several reasons for it. First, they know I have the right to comment on their weight. I am one of the few people who can do it and get away with it. Actually, it is the only place I can do it. I can't comment on my wife's weight. I certainly can't comment on people's weight outside of the office..."well, Susan, it is good to have you over. Gosh, you have gotten way heavier!" Nah, it just wouldn't fly.

The second reason people feel they can comment on my weight is that they know I can take it. I doubt if I was a female doctor they would do it. I also doubt they would do it to a specialist they don't see too often. But when they have been coming to me for a while (for some, over a decade), they get to know me and know that this kind of thing does not bother me. Well, it doesn't bother me too much.

It actually bothers me a little. I am usually caught a little off guard when they say it, and come back with some clever remark like, "yes, I keep getting ambushed by cookies." or something like that. It is nice in a way, because I think they are doing it in kindness - trying to hold me to the same standard that I hold them. I have never felt that anyone meant bad when they said it.

I can't overlook the fact that when they say it, it usually is true. I do need to start eating better and exercising (I actually just got back from the YMCA). I also must point out that they tend to be much quicker to comment when I have lost weight.

Such is the life of a doctor. It has it's ups and downs, but I would not trade it for another job.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Making friends with your patients

I had a bad start to the day today. My computer was messing up and my son just suddenly flew off the handle with my wife. Things just seemed to be conspiring to make me irritated. Then the first few patients of the day this morning were folks I had taken care of for the better part of 12 years. They are both diabetics with whom I have gone through a lot in their lives. I have to say, it was good to see both of them and it really picked up my spirits.

As a doctor, you have to stay a certain distance from your patience emotionally. If you get to close you start to lose the objectivity that they are coming to you for. You have to be able to look for bad stuff in people you like (I just diagnosed a woman this morning with metastatic cancer in her back). Yet I have found that this line gets more and more fuzzy as you practice for more time. You definitely enjoy the company of some of your patients. It is very satisfying to feel that you have been a significant part of their life, and a positive one at that. Maybe I am just getting more sentimental as I grow older (which I definitely am), but I am enjoying this aspect to my practice more and more.

I have gotten so that I routinely hug my little old ladies at the end of the visit (the ones I have seen for a while) and it really brightens their faces. The physical touch that is not "professional" but instead one of genuine affection/friendship is very well received. I think it aids in the healing process. The same is true for playing with the children. I have this thing where I pick up their arm and say, "Uh,oh, what is that there?" and I start tickling them under the arm. This makes them appreciate coming to the doctor more and hence more willing to trust me. Plus, it is just plain fun.

Of course, their are limits to this. I don't hug anyone under 55 and don't tickle anyone over 10. What is funny or nice in one situation can get you arrested in another. But I am not sure I would want to practice if I did not have the chance to have this personal relationship with my patients. It is often therapeutic for me as well.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

A plutonic update




The phones are ringing off the hook. The latest Pluto news.

There goes the solar system.

Once an elite society of nine lordly bodies of rock, ice and gas, our solar system would grow to at least 12 members under a new definition of a planet proposed Tuesday by the International Astronomical Union.

The core of the definition? Planets are round. And they orbit a star.

The proposal was hammered out after two years of intense debate among leading experts of the IAU, which is the sole authority on Earth for naming celestial objects.

"We now have a new way to put the solar system together," said Richard Binzel, a member of the IAU executive committee that drafted the definition. "We think this definition is reasonable."

The proposal will be voted on next week by the group's general assembly, which is meeting in Prague, Czech Republic. Binzel, an astronomer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said he was "optimistic" the definition would be approved.

The new list of round planets would consist of one recently discovered object beyond the orbit of Pluto named UB313, as well as two bodies that previously were rejected for planetary status: Pluto's moon Charon and Ceres, the largest member of the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.

Charon and Pluto would become the solar system's first double-planet, meaning they twirl around each other but neither dominates.

They would become part of a new subclass of planets called "plutons," defined by the fact that their orbits around the sun take at least 200 years. Dozens more plutons could be added after the objects are more thoroughly reviewed by the IAU.

Ceres also would get a new designation as the sole member of a subclass called "dwarf planets."

Gibor Basri, chairman of astronomy at the University of California, Berkeley, praised the IAU for coming up with a reasonable definition that could help quell the stubborn arguments over what makes a planet, a debate provoked by critics who questioned tiny Pluto's status as a planet.

"I feel that they have made the most rational and scientific choices," he said. "It does mean some adjustment for the public."

But the definition has riled some astronomers.

Perhaps surprisingly, one of the strongest critics of the new solar-system lineup is the man who discovered one of the proposed new planets, astronomer Michael Brown of the California Institute of Technology. He called the decision an "odd solution."

"In my book, the word planet was special. I liked it back when planets meant something other than: It's round," he said.

Brown said he had counted 53 objects that appeared to meet the proposed definition of a planet.

It's an open question how the new definition will be received by the general public, which grew up with mobiles of the nine-planet solar system in their bedrooms, and learning mnemonic devices to memorize the planets, such as My-Very-Excellent-Mother-Just-Served-Us-Nine-Pizzas.

The debate over what is and is not a planet was forced on the astronomical union by the recent discoveries of a new roster of Kuiper Belt objects orbiting as far as 9 billion miles from the sun.

Among the numerous objects, Brown identified one in 2005 — UB313 (he nicknamed it Xena) — that appeared larger than Pluto, which has a diameter of 1,400 miles.

The discoveries by Brown and astronomers at the Lowell Observatory in Arizona made it clear that the small, icy world of Pluto, discovered in 1930 by Clyde Tombaugh, was hardly unique.

Something had to be done.

Many scientists advocated demoting Pluto, which would have left eight planets: the four inner rocky worlds of Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars, and the four outer gas giants, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

It was a simple approach, and one that Brown himself favored. "A gutsy move would be to bite the bullet and say that Pluto should never have been called a planet," he said.

In the end, the IAU took a slightly more nuanced approach.

Its proposal reads: "A planet is a celestial body that (a) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape, and (b) is in orbit around a star, and is neither a star nor a satellite of a planet."

The IAU estimates that a planet would have to be at least 480 miles in diameter to have the necessary mass to form itself into a round shape.

"Our goal was to find a scientific basis for a new definition of planet, and we chose gravity as the determining factor," Binzel said. "Nature decides whether or not an object is a planet."

Hmmm...53 planets. That would take a long mnemonic. I was happy that they quoted me on the mom serving pizzas (although they got it wrong). This really has me losing serious sleep. How in the WORLD are our kids going to learn the names of 53 planets?? One of them is going to be named XENA, for PETE's SAKE.

We should have guessed that planets would be a growth industry. My cousin told me last month, "Rob, invest in planets. I have some inside information from Prague that there are some BIG things in the works." Well stupid me, I stayed away from this tip and now look what has happened! I think this news alone got the Dow Jones shooting up to record highs. I mean, how many days are new planets added to the roster?

Maybe now that this is settled they can get to renaming Uranus (no not yours, the planet). It is just EMBARRASSINGNG to say. Especially when you say things like "Uranus has rings around it" or "Uranus has a methane gas atmosphere" or worst of all, "NASA just sent a probe to Uranus." I don't even like to think about that stuff.

So I can see us when we are old, talking to the grandchildren, "Yeah, I remember when there were only NINE planets. We even thought we would lose good ol' Pluto one day, but then all heck broke loose and they just let any ol' round rock become a planet. All this riff-raff in the solar system these days. It used to be that being a planet was something special, but not anymore!" I can't wait to bore my grandchildren with that one.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Thoughts on Pluto

This has upset me:

The International Astronomical Union (IAU) has gathered in Prague to finally settle a matter of galactic import: whether Pluto is in fact a planet or should be relegated to the second division of Kuiper Belt Objects and similar detritus.

Astonomers have to date failed dismally to agree what exactly constitutes a planet, as demonstrated by last year's Xena controversy which saw stargazers claim they'd discovered the solar system's tenth full-fat planet, while others used the opportunity to call for Pluto and Xena's classification as minor planets.

The matter may soon be settled once and for all, The Detroit Free Press reports, as the IAU is scheduled to "consider a resolution that defines a planet". The committee writing the resolution is maintaining a stony silence as to what it will finally recommend, but whatever it decides will inevitably cause a rumpus in either the pro or con Pluto camps.

Steve Maran, author of Astronomy for Dummies told the The Detroit Free Press: "This is such a hot issue. They never rule on things like this. There's a lot more to it than science," alluding to the fact that Pluto is the only planet discovered by an American.

Indeed, the US has a soft spot for Pluto, and any attempt to downgrade its status will certainly upset large numbers of fanatical schoolkids such as those who in 2000 bombarded the Hayden Planetarium at the American Museum of Natural History in New York with "hate mail" after it omitted the planet from a solar system exhibit.

Robert Williams, a vice president of the International Astronomical Union who's "deeply involved in the deliberations on Pluto", admitted: "My niece said to me, 'Are you going to demote Pluto?'."

Williams did, nonetheless, show his icy scientific cool with: "If that's the way it is, that's what we do. It's not written in stone anywhere there's got to be a numerable number of planets. If it upsets schoolchildren, I regret that."
So when is a planet not a planet? I understand the idea of there being a standard definition of planets (as Pluto is apparently very small compared to even Mercury), but this demotion of an entire planet has me wondering about the egos of these scientists. They hold a whole planet in an un-natural balance, with hordes of plutonians waiting to see if they will remain planet dwellers. It has got to be a power rush to be one of those who determine a planets worthiness of planethood.

So what if this goes to their head? What if they demote Rhode Island so it is no longer a state (after all, it isn't even an island). Liechtenstein would be removed from the ranks of countries as well. Small towns such as Belvidere, Nebraska (Pop. 98) would have to also be worried that they may be demoted by these power-mongers.

Personally, I think that we should think of demoting some small things. Chihuahuas, for instance, should be demoted to rodent status. The Cooper Mini should be demoted to go-cart status. Precious Moments figurines should just be gathered up and napalmed (not because they are small, I just have that fantasy).

Why doesn't this conference deal with the more pressing planetary problem: the name of the 7th planet, Uranus. It is embarrassing to say that planet, regardless of where you put the accent. It either talks about a part of the body we just don't want to discuss, or it talks about a bodily function that lives in the same neighborhood. They need to change this name to something much less embarrassing. Xena is the name of the other possible planet (see above) and was actually named after the TV character. Why not? Pluto is named after a Disney character! They could change the name of Uranus to Seinfeld or Bob Barker.

Well, one thing that would be really bothered by this demotion of Pluto from planethood would be the catchy song I learned when I was in school: My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza Pies. The point was to teach us the planets' names in order. Without Pluto, our mother would have to serve us Nothing. Now that would make kids sad.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Bachelor no more


My family has been gone for the past 2+ weeks (since I got back from Mississippi), leaving me to fend for myself. They were up at my wife's parents' cottage in northern Michigan. They do it every summer, and I have made it up there every couple of years.

Being all alone has had its advantages. When I get home from work I don't have to follow any agenda but my own - although I did keep fairly busy with work around the house and work-related stuff. The quiet is also nice.

But now it will be back to the "happy chaos" of 4 kids, wife, dog all back in my life and I am glad for it. While they do make my life more complicated, they make it much more full. Families are a workshop where you get to love other people. I am not using the word "love" as an emotion, I am using it as an action. When I come home tired after work, my tendency is to want to relax and focus on myself. With family at home I am forced to look outside of myself, meeting their needs ahead of my own. That is what family is about, to a great degree. I get much more out of life because of my ability to give, especially to those who depend on me. I lose a lot of control of my life, but gain much more than I lose.

By the way, it does seem like my son changed a fair amount from his trip to Mississippi. My wife told me he was much more helpful this past week. I was wondering if he had caught some sort of brain virus or if he was possessed. Nope, just more secure with life, I guess.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Walker, Hungarian Bridge

Here's a good one for you...

A new bridge in Hungary could be named after Hollywood action movie actor Chuck Norris unless the trend turns in an Internet vote organized by the Economy Ministry.

Votes for the "Chuck Norris Bridge" had attracted 8,725 votes or 11 percent by Tuesday morning, just ahead of those cast in favor of naming it after Hungarian humorist Geza Hofi and three times more than for Szent Istvan, founder of the state.

Votes can be cast until September 8 on the www.m0hid.gov.hu Web site, where people have put forward more than 500 nominations including Bud Spencer and Bob Marley, as well as names referring to construction delays such as "It Will Never Happen Bridge."


A government committee will review the three winning names, as well as other proposals put forward by local governments, cartographers, linguists and other experts. The bridge over the Danube north of Budapest is due to open in 2008.



Well, a bridge named after Chuck. Very nice. Are they still smoking opium over there? Something has caused them to become insane en masse. Well, I would suggest some other characters they might want to consider:
  1. Pee-Wee Herman - Maybe name a jail after him.
  2. Gumby and Pokey - I think the parliament building may sound very good named after them.
  3. Captain Kangaroo - I am not sure, but there would have to be a door with a lot of little doors on it (only will make sense if you remember the show).
  4. David Hasselhoff - Maybe a bowling alley named after him.
  5. Fabio - Great name for a town square - think about it: "Fabio Square." It has a nice ring to it.
  6. Dora the Explorer - Actually there is a section in Afghanistan called Tora Bora - which should have Dora's name attached to it somehow. Or maybe she could go on a hunt for Osama!
  7. Kenny G - I think it should be a garbage dump named after him. Either that or some place where people get real nauseated.
  8. Yanni - same as Kenny G.
  9. The Laundress - Well, maybe just rename the Capitol after her. She is famous, after all.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Did anyone notice?

Redfaced, I corrected the spelling error in the name of my blog? Hey, I never claimed to be Noah Webster...

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Even More Monkeys (and Pigs)

Two stories worth reporting...

Zoo officials installed an electric fence around a construction site to protect workers from 120 primate hecklers, an animal park in northern England said Friday.

A band of baboons began screeching and chattering when a team of construction workers commenced work to renovate the primate enclosure at Knowsley Safari Park, close to the city of Liverpool, about 210 miles north of London.

Worried that the baboons would become violent, workers at the animal park — which also houses lions, rhino and elephants — have installed the fence to contain them.

"Because we're effectively in a cage and the animals are free to roam around us, we do feel as though the roles are reversed and we are the exhibit," said Geoff Ames, the construction project manager. "However, we're grateful for the protection." Work to create a new enclosure for the primates will be completed this summer, Ames said.

That is scary to me. Baboons are meaner than mean...especially after they've had a Bud or two.



The second story is the usual sad story about animals and alcohol...

Activists protest beer-swilling pigs

Thu Jul 27, 8:19 AM ET

A pair of beer-swilling pigs has embroiled an Australian pub in an animal cruelty debate.

Visitors to "Pub in the Paddock" in the island-state of Tasmania are invited to pour bottles of beer down the willing throats of resident pigs Priscilla and P.B.

Pub owner Anne Free said Wednesday she was outraged that the tourist attraction had been attacked as cruel in the latest edition of a magazine published by animal welfare group Choose Cruelty Free.

Free said the pigs liked beer. She also watered the beer down to ensure they never got drunk.

"When it's very, very quiet, I often actually have to go over and give them a couple of drinks because, yeah, they do look forward to it," Free told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio.

"I get quite irate when people come in and say: 'Oh, is the pig inebriated?' There's no way that these pigs are being mistreated like that," she added.

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals often investigates complaints about the pigs' drinking but have found the porkers unharmed.

"Whilst it is a difficult pill to swallow ... it's certainly not cruelty, unfortunately," RSPCA state chief executive Rick Butler told the ABC.

Choose Cruelty Free office manager Liz Jackson disagreed.

"It's not natural to give a pig beer," Jackson told The Mercury newspaper.

What can I say? It does not surprise me that these pigs are drinking the amber nectar. What would you do if you just stood around in the mud all day? While it may not be "natural" to give a pig beer, Ms. Jackson just does not know what kind of pressure these animals will put on you to get this stuff. They probably are threatening some sort of monkey attack or something (see above).

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Beware of Falling Dogs

Another article I could not resist:

A man was bruised but alive on Wednesday after a Saint Bernard dog thrown out a two-story window landed on him as he was walking down the street in the southern-Polish city of Sosnowiec.

The 50-kg (110-pound) dog was pushed out of the window by its drunken owner on Monday, police said.

"The dog had a soft landing because it fell on a man," said police spokesman Grzegorz Wierzbicki. "The dog escaped with just a few scratches."

"The man was also more in a psychological state of shock than physically hurt," Wierzbicki added.

The one-year-old dog, named Oskar, was placed in an animal shelter while police investigate its owners for animal abuse.

Comment: St. Bernards are supposed to be helpful dogs. Jeez, could there be a worse choice of dog to fall on your head? I think anyone would sound drunk if they tried to say the name of that policeman.

I thought this was humorous, but then I did a Google search on "falling dog" and I found some other amazing stories:

From the New Zealand Herald:
A dog fell from a Detroit highway overpass and crashed through a car windshield, fatally injuring the driver.

Charles Jetchick, 81, died on Wednesday of injuries suffered in the weekend accident.

Investigators do not believe the Labrador-retriever was thrown, but rather fell while trying to avoid a car. "We've had rocks and other stuff like that fall off of overpasses", said Sergeant Michael Shaw who has been with the Michigan State Police for 11 years. "This would be the first dog we've had."

Comment: What happened to the dog? Why are they writing about this stuff in New Zealand? What is that dog doing out of Labrador?
Then from the BBC:
A golden Labrador had an incredible escape when she fell more than 90 feet from a cliff into a pile of seaweed.

Five-year-old Tessa was being walked by owners Alan and Jill Mitchell near Old Harry Rocks in Dorset, when she raced off into the undergrowth.

It was only a few minutes later when she did not return that the Mitchells realized she must have plunged down the sheer cliff to the beach below.

After calling 999, an anxious wait followed before Tessa was checked out by a vet who confirmed that her only injury was a bruised leg.

The couple, from Harrow, north London, were out walking with Mrs Mitchell's sister on Sunday afternoon, with whom they were staying in Broadstone, Dorset.

Jill Mitchell told BBC News Online: "We were on a lane with heavy undergrowth, so didn't know that we were near a cliff edge.

"She shot off into the undergrowth - I assume she caught the scent of something.
"When she didn't come back my sister said: 'She must have gone over the cliff' and I just thought she couldn't have done.

"We pushed through the undergrowth and saw the edge of this cliff and I just felt awful - then I heard her whimpering.

"My husband ran around and could see her staggering around on the beach - over 90 feet down.

We get a lot of dogs going over cliffs - especially in the summer, quite often they chase after rabbits and just can't stop Coastguard spokesman

Comment: Since when has the coastguard been experts on dogs and gravity? They get a lot of dogs going over cliffs? Nobody told me about this! No more ball playing on the rim of the Grand Canyon, I guess.






From Florence, AL:
A house painter has become a dog catcher, literally. Gary Gallien was working on a crew painting an apartment complex in Florence, Alabama, when he caught a pooch falling from a fifth-floor balcony.

He says as he stepped outside, he heard a woman scream and looked up. A white, furry object was falling toward him. He says he caught the small dog like it was a football.

He took the dog back up to the fifth floor and set it loose. Gallien says he just wishes someone with a camcorder had caught his dog-catching on tape, for one of those funny home video TV shows.
Comment: Good thing it wasn't a St. Bernard!
So what's all this then? I could make a joke about "raining cats and dogs," but I won't. I could joke about the "dog days of summer," but that wouldn't be right. So what is this with all of these dogs falling? I know we have joked about alcoholic habits of animals, but this is more "dogs and physics!"

OK, one more to give the other side of the story:

AKRON, Ohio (USA) — We've had a lot of falling dog stories lately, so maybe it's about time we report on a klutzy human for a change.

Kevin McDonald was on the job painting a home in Akron last week when the ladder that was supporting him gave way, dropping him from the roof about 12 feet to the ground. There, the wounded man lay critically injured and bleeding.

NewsChannel5 reports that the homeowner was away at the time; however, the family dog, a Golden Retriever, was there and watched the entire episode. Next-door neighbor Marie Istvan describes how the fast-acting pooch ran to her house and enlisted her help.

"He acted real funny like there was something wrong," says Ms. Istvan.

After following the dog back to the other house, she found Mr. McDonald laying in a pool of blood and barely moving. The woman called for help right away.

Due to the quick response, emergency personnel arrived on the scene in enough time to treat the injured man. After two days at the hospital, he was released in good condition and, after thanking Ms. Istvan and the dog for saving his life, he returned to work.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Child Drives SUV

Not to be outdone by a dog...

A 5-year-old boy hopped behind the wheel of a sport utility vehicle and drove it several blocks looking for his mother following an argument with his grandmother, authorities said.

The child was not injured in his short drive last Wednesday, and his grandmother's 2004 Cadillac Escalade was stopped without incident.

The boy, whose full name wasn't released, started the truck, cranked up the stereo and stood on the driver's seat to see over the steering wheel, Washtenaw County Sheriff's Cmdr. Dave Egeler told The Ann Arbor News.

The boy told sheriff's deputies he was "looking for his mommy," police reports said. He was not expected to face any charges.

A motorist called police to report that her vehicle was nearly struck by an SUV that appeared to be driven by a child. Egeler said an off-duty deputy also noticed the boy and pulled him from the vehicle before he drove any farther.

The boy and his grandmother, who is his custodial guardian, got into an argument at their home in Ypsilanti Township, Egeler said. He grabbed the car keys and was told to drop them, authorities said, but took off after the grandmother became distracted by her infant granddaughter.

I find it especially amusing that:
  1. He got into an argument with is grandmother, got real ticked-off, and took off with the keys. I hate to think of how he will be as a teenager.
  2. He cranked up the stereo while he drove. I think he played "Rockin' Down the Highway" by the Doobie Brothers.
  3. He drove several blocks without crashing the car.
  4. They actually say "He was not expected to face any charges." Nah, throw him in the slammer! The punk. Try him as an adult. If he wants to be big, he needs to be treated like an adult.
  5. It appears the infant created a diversion so he could carry out his plan. What a crafty infant!
  6. He has driven an Escalade before I have. Lucky duck.
So what is the take-home message? Well, our days of trusting young children have drawn to a close. I'm sure he will have his driving privileges taken away for the next...10 years. He will never be satisfied with a Big Wheel again.

Maybe he just wanted to get out of a town with a goofy name. Ypsilanti....Sheesh!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Home now...Some final thoughts

OK, I am home now. I put my kids on a plane to Michigan and they met their Mom up there where they will rest and relax while I hold down the fort here alone. I should have some time for blogging. It is actually not bad to have a few weeks by yourself - it lets you spend time doing stuff that would otherwise be impossible. It gets kind of dull after a while, however.

Anyhow, I am still a little sore from the week. My arms are burned, as is my neck (despite my best efforts). In all, I think the week was a success. I saw a side of my kids that I wasn't sure was there. They worked with little complaint from 8AM to 5PM in the sweltering southern Mississippi sun. We built 1 3/4 sheds for people, and the second definitely was easier than the first. When asked if they enjoyed the week, the kids were all positive. I am quite glad we brought J's friend along with us - he was bigger, stronger, and his dad had done more work like this with him before, so he was a big help.


I am not sure if it really hit home that this was as bad of a disaster as it was. It is really easy to put up barriers in our minds and just do the job that we have to do and not personalize it. As a doctor I am a professional at not personalizing things (I would go crazy if I didn't). But I think there is good reason to personalize things at times. We need to be thankful for the good things we have and need to know there is nothing that we can take for granted on this world. We are extremely lucky people to have all of the things we do, although sometimes I wonder if it doesn't let us get too soft. I can tell you right now that this will become a family tradition. Maybe we won't go to the same place - I would love for them to go to a third-world country some time and see real poverty. It had a huge effect on me when I saw it first-hand.

Probably the most amazing thing about this whole trip is that people do quite well when faced with adversity. The people who were pushed out of their homes have just made due with what they had. Their lives have changed a lot, but they don't seem bitter about it - perhaps even less whiney than we usually are. When you get faced with these tough things, you tend to get a better perspective and the little annoyances in life don't bother you as much. I know this was true for us when we were helping them. We were hot and being bitten by bugs, but whereas they would have complained loudly at home, the kids did what they had to do.

I don't feel like this was a "noble" thing for me to do - it was the right thing to do. I see no nobility in doing what is best for my kids. That is not a sacrifice. I have many more memories than I would have had from a cruise or a week at the beach. My emotions are much more grounded and I feel ready to go back to work now, even though I worked hard last week. This is not just theory, it is real. You do far better when you take your eyes off of yourself and help other people. I know I often get caught in a rut of "keeping score" as to how my life is going. Well, the best way to counter that is to give more without expectation of getting something in return. It is far better to give than to receive.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Day 4, and some monkey business

OK, I did not do much in the way of pictures today - you can only do so much with pictures of people building sheds - they all start to look the same. I'm sure you have experienced the same thing.

Today is our penultimate day. We are leaving tomorrow after lunch. It was much harder to get motivated today and hence more difficult to motivate the kids. They all worked, however, and did so fairly hard. I told them that this day was about character. If you only work when you want to, then you will not be successful. If, however, you are able to do what you need to when you do not feel like it, you show character. They not only worked, but did so fairly hard, which I was very happy about. It really is the dividing line between successful and unsuccessful people - the ability to do what you need to do when your mind is whining at you and wanting to do anything else. You just have to learn how to put your head down and do the job. It may or may not give you a good feeling, but it is the right thing to do. I find I have to do that often in my work (there are lots of things I would rather not do but have to do).

My daughter asked me if she was that kind of person (she is 12). I told her that today she showed me that she could be that kind of person. I was impressed by how they clearly did not want to be out there but worked anyhow. She said that she can do it, but not for homework. I agreed - I had noticed that.

On a lighter note, there continues to be a serious problem with inebriation among the "lower primates." Yes, I am talking about monkeys drinking. I thought that being down here in a disaster zone would let me avoid it, but here is a picture of a local "establishment." I was dumbfounded that even here the drunk monkeys have infiltrated. I have not seen any horizontal cows, but I will keep my eyes open for pelicans and dogs driving wildly.

I haven't decided if I will go to the Karaoke yet.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Day 3


So we did it. Here is "the team" with our homeowner - Ms. Banks. She was incredibly grateful for our work. It was not perfect (by a longshot) but it seems solid and will serve her very well.

A couple of observations from today:
  • Doing roofing in the middle of the summer in Mississippi is a very hot thing to do.
  • It is much nicer when there is a breeze.
  • Gatorade is great, but you get sick of it after a while
  • I still really like Little Debbie Nutty Bars.
  • We all worked very hard and are very satisfied with our work.
  • Sonic Cream Pie shakes are not as good as their cream slushes (in case you were wondering).
  • Jonathan did not really hit Garrett with the hammer
So I am sore, itchy, and sunburned (I did use sunscreen, so don't preach at me). Yet I would not have done it differently. We had to push ourselves, but it sure did feel good to get it done.

So...do it. If you have a chance to take a week to do something like this, do it. You really won't regret giving of yourself. You may regret not giving enough to others, but not giving too much. Okay, enough preaching for today.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Day 2 in Mississippi

OK, I am no craftsman, but I am pretty happy with how this shed is turning out. I had my doubts - with 2 14-year olds and 1 12-year old, but I have to say that they are stepping up to the challenge. I actually pictured myself getting really annoyed and frustrated with them, but I decided early on to not set expectations too high and not push them too hard.

Here is how I feel after day 2:
  • Exausted - It was very hot and humid today and that really sucks the life out of you.
  • I have blisters and splinters in my hands, so it is a little painful to type
  • My legs are achey and my 44-year old body is asking me, "What the heck are you doing to me? I'm not used to this.
  • Happy - the little lady we are doing this for is bubbling with gratitude every time she talks to us.
  • Proud - my kids have done OK. They have not really complained much at all and have (for the most part) worked whenever asked. It is far better than it could have been.
I asked my son if he was glad that we came (this is the boy who would play Runescape for weeks nonstop if allowed), and he said, "I don't want to be doing it while I am doing it because it is hard. But afterward, I am glad I did it." That is about as good as I could ask for.

The church we are doing this through is called Lagniappe Presbyterian Church, their website can be found here. We are doing something called "Sheds of Hope," where we build a shed for someone living in a trailer so they have places to put things. There are about 300 people here this week and they are very nice. Some people are gutting houses and drywalling, others are doing clean-up duty in people's yards. In all, they are doing a good work.
Above is a picture of the carport at the house where we are building our shed. Note the dirt on the top of the carport - that is the water line due to the flooding from the storm surge.
This is an ironic picture - they lost their roof.

All in all, I recommend this kind of thing. We spend a lot of our life believing our own worlds are real, but there is a lot of suffering in the world that we can do something about. It is much better than a trip to Myrtle Beach.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Greetings from Mississippi


Above is a picture of a home outside of Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. Note the pool behind the washed-out foundation of the house. I am here with 2 of my kids to help out some of the people who have suffered. We are building a shed for a woman who had water nearly up to her ceiling (she is still living in a trailer). It is very humbling to see how much some people have suffered (when I think of how I complain about some things in my life). I wanted to expose my kids to the fact that their lives are not normal. It is not normal to sit around and play games and live comfortably all the time.

I will keep you updated with this trip. It helps give perspective. I highly recommend this work for anyone who wants to do their part. Posted by Picasa

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Cows Getting in on the Act

Well, things have gone from bad to worse. From the blog of Belvidere, NE (Pop 98), mayor Spooner Jenkins talks of an outbreak of horizontal cows in his fair city. Now, I am no cow expert (I do internal medicine and pediatrics, but no bovines), but I have always felt that vertical was the proper orientation for cows (although how exactly they are oriented is really their own personal decision and I won't judge them on the basis of that). This has gotten to be such a phenomenon that the Discovery Channel is sending a crew to do a documentary on it.

Well, with my growing knowledge base of animals gone bad, I think there may be more to it than meets the eye. With dogs running down innocent people as they get their mail and drunk monkey gangs in Roanoke, VA, it seems to me that this is more than just a crop circle type of phenomenon. I think it may be a conspiracy of a more sinister kind. Yes, it is the cow-monkey-dog conspiracy. I have it on good authority that there is a telepathic bond between these critters and they have been plotting to take over the country (or at least the Midwest).

Witness the phenomenon in the upper Midwestern states of Minnesota, Wisconsin, and North Dakota. There is an army of giant cows mobilizing as we speak (See below). This is really a frightening development. You have heard of "Mad Cow Disease?" Why do you think they are so mad? They are tired of being abused by the farmers and mocked in Chick-Fil-A ads. The dogs and monkeys have put this idea in their heads.




Anyway, I don't think the horizontal cow phenomenon is just a curiosity. I think these cows are saving up their strength and putting all their energy into growing (like those upper Midwest cows have done). Once they form enough of an army, there will be no stopping them. My advice? Watch out, Spooner!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Just Curious

Why does the Google Adsense above my blog keep having things about zucchini and zucchini Bread recipes? How does it get that from the context of my blog. Well, in case you are curious, here is a fine zucchini bread recipe:

Zucchini Bread

(from the kitchen of Carol Linkkila)
From Bruce & Jill's Favourite Family Recipes

2 cups sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
2 eggs
3 teaspoons vanilla
2 cups grated zucchini
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3 cups flour
3 teaspoons cinnamon
Blend all ingredients together. Bake in greased loaf tin at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until done.


Thanks Carol...whoever you are.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

More dangerous animals

They say nothing about a breath-a-lyzer on this dog, but...

Dog blamed for hitting woman with truck

A police dog that was left in a pickup with the engine running apparently knocked the vehicle into gear and ran down a woman who was walking to her mailbox.

Mary F. Stone, 41, was expected to remain hospitalized with a fractured pelvis and tailbone until at least Friday, said her husband, Paul Stone.

The dog, a German shepherd named Ranger, had been left in the truck while its handler responded to a domestic disturbance call Tuesday, police Lt. Loring Draper said. The truck's engine was on so Ranger would have air conditioning.

Draper said Ranger must have hit the shift on the steering column, putting the automatic transmission into gear. As the truck slowly rolled forward, police officers yelled to Stone, but she couldn't get out of the way in time, he said.

A front and rear tire ran over her. "She had tire marks on her clothes," her husband said.

The truck then went through the Stones' yard and struck a vehicle in the driveway.

Draper said police were trying to determine if there might have been some malfunction that would have allowed the gear shift to be moved easily.

I have to say, my recent education into the carelessness of animals has made this sadly not surprising to me. Ranger probably put on an innocent face here, but who knows what the real motives are? We are gathering data regarding the conspiracy of the animals against us. Don't others see it?

I am beginning to worry now that my dog has started reading "Canine Jihad" magazine....